Anyda Marchant 1911-2006
I met Anyda and Muriel on a hot summer day about 25 years ago. The meeting was destined by Fate working her way. Alexander was Anyda's brother and my favorite professor friend at Vanderbilt. I had written him not knowing that he had died and Anyda, looking after his affairs, wrote back telling me of his death. Here is where madam Fate comes in. I had been to Rehoboth the summer before and was planning to return in a few months so, when I saw the Rehoboth Beach return address, I replied asking if I could pay a visit to Anyda. Had Anyda and Muriel been in Florida when she wrote, our meeting might never have happened.
I remember our first visit—on the porch, of course. Unfortunately that afternoon I had been playing croquet and drinking daiquiris with Steve and Murray, Joe and Michael (our younger, carefree days) so when I arrived at 5, I wasn't quite as sharp as I should have been. I was graciously received, of course, and good conversation followed. Fortunately they asked me back the following afternoon when I was totally alert, and I was quick to realize then that there was much more between these two women than just friends in retirement from Washington. One hint by me or them led to another, and so began the path of our friendship.
The morning of the day Anyda died, I was walking to the beach in Fort Lauderdale. I knew there was not much time left for Anyda and, as one does in such circumstances, I thought back about her and certain things that stood out. As I looked at the ocean, one came to mind. Then I thought of Scotch. Then my mother as a third.
First the ocean. For years Anyda and Muriel would drive to the ocean, whether in Rehoboth or Florida. They would park and simply watch the water together sitting in the car. What was Anyda thinking as she watched, I wondered. I'm sure she thought about time, like the waves, rolling on, continually, never stopping. But more importantly, how to use that time. Anyda had definite ideas about the plight of women in a male-dominated society. And the plight of the underclass in a wealth dominated society. She saw wrongs for what they were. And she worked tirelessly in her quiet but very determined way to right the wrongs she perceived. This is most strongly seen in first the Naiad Press and then A&M Books. The books were her passion to provide a lasting vehicle to reach women and men around the world with examples of perseverance and success of women, especially lesbians. Through her own Sarah Aldridge novels she was a prophet of what women could obtain, the novels giving motivation. And through Naiad and A&M she opened the door to other feminist writers, providing them an opportunity to enrich and expand the literary world that might not otherwise be available to them. This is so aptly summed in the dedication page of A&M Book's latest publication by noted black lesbian writer Ann Allen Shockley where she writes: "To Anyda Merchant and Muriel Crawford Who Made It Possible."
Yes, I will remember Anyda looking at the ocean, thinking of the times past and times to come, working out in her own legally trained analytical mind how best to use the waves of time to help fashion the world into a better, more just and more fair place.
And then there is Scotch, Dewar's, of course, to be exact. I am grateful that Anyda was an understanding person, else I would have always born the brunt of being considered somewhat of a barbarian because I took 3 ice cubes and a splash of water in mine. That was never a problem with Muriel because I bought her off by always making her drink a little stronger than Anyda's!
But other than good times, why do I think of Scotch when I think of Anyda and the ritual of drinks at 5. First we are reminded of her genteel manners and gracious hospitality. As we all know, you never drank without foods being offered as well. It was just the right thing to do. And Anyda was very proper. Attention to detail was a hallmark of their happy hours… just another example of Anyda and Muriel's caring for others, whether it be a special sleeve for Billy's glass, or a special wine known to be a favorite, or a whisper to me that so-and-so likes their drinks good and strong!
But we learn more about Anyda from those happy hours, for it was there that her keen intellect often showed through. While often quiet and listening intently to others (not much got past her), when she spoke up you knew, agree or disagree, you were getting a full measure of her mind's analysis and incredible storehouse of knowledge and facts, often flavored with wit. I venture to say she had forgotten more words than I knew. And she was ever true to her principles. Her evaluation of current events, politics, people, or just the mundane always reflected her own strong liberal principles including especially concerns for the underprivileged, the needy, and the abused.
Her insistence on Dewar's spoke allegorically of her appreciation for quality: fine music, especially her beloved Bach, art, and of course, literature. She was a very discerning woman.
Finally there is the sip. The sip by Muriel from Anyda's glass each time a drink was prepared. That most intimate sharing each time a new scotch was served. One drink. One life, shared by two.
And that brings me to the third point in my remembrances of Anyda. My mother. As many of you know my mom is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. These days she does not remember much from the past or present. But, for some unknown reason, on four or five occasions this past year she asked me, "why don't we go visit those nice ladies?" I have no idea why Anyda and Muriel so uniquely stand out in her mind when so much else doesn't. They had, of course, met on occasion, but the contacts were relatively few and far between. Yet somehow they stand out in her mind even today and she wants to visit.
I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. Over the years I've been fortunate to introduce many of my friends to Anyda and Muriel, and in this context as all, Anyda and Muriel go hand in hand. Who can really answer why I am always asked by these friends: "how are the ladies doing?" I could get very analytical and list lots of specific reasons I suppose why Anyda and Muriel would command such interest and respect, but I won't The simple and all-encompassing answer which my mother somehow recognizes, as does everyone else who has ever met Anyda and Muriel, is simply, they are very special women.
Fortunately Muriel, and the twinkle in her eyes, is still with us. Anyda, the A of A&M, is gone from us now. She led a remarkable life: as an author, a publisher, and on her porch, a warm and welcoming catalyst for the sharing of thoughts and ideas. We can honestly say about her: Anyda made, and will continue to make, a difference.
Tom Jones, 1/21/2006
